This Physical Pain Has Benefited Me Emotionally

I rushed myself to the ER 2 nights ago.

I’m typing this instead of making a video about it because it’s going to have a higher chance of appearing up on search and will be more helpful.

I have experienced the worst pain one can never imagine and give me a break, it’s not about how low my pain tolerance is because based on research, women that has given birth said the same. I involuntarily grew a cyst a place you’d pray for a cyst never to grow on. It’s a bartholin cyst. Basically a cyst that grows on your bartholin’s gland, normally only on one side so singular. And in a simpler term, it’s a cyst that grows on one side of the vagina “tear duct”. I self diagnose myself for many things. Including this one. You know, just so the doctors can attend to the problem as soon as possible.

It started out as a painless lump, which happened once and went away by itself a month ago. I was on my period so I couldn’t get it examined but I went to get antibiotics and painkillers because I can feel that it’s getting bigger. Before I know it, the next day it grew into the size of a golf ball. Praying that the medication will calm it down a little, I went on with my day as per normal. Half dead. Taking naps were hard too because I would wake up in pain. I couldn’t sit or lay down properly, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t squat to take something, I couldn’t even bend slightly to wear my undies.

It hurts way more than all the heartbreaks and my tattoos combined. Excruciating pain. I wanted to die. Having to accept how serious this thing is becoming was hell. It was so bad I wasn’t even scared anymore, I was just depressed. A little too late to wish I’ve done anything differently so I kept pushing myself praying that I won’t give up, and that meant having uncontrollable tears falling over something as easy as sitting down on a cushioned chair.

A crazy idea doesn’t seem crazy at all now – going to emergency room.

I wanted to hold it till morning but I really couldn’t take it anymore.

So if you have the same nightmare, just rush yourself to the ER, it’ll be painful when they check (/put pressure) on it or drain it. I personally wouldn’t want to surgically remove it although it’s a risk for it to reoccur. Nevertheless, you will be in pain for a while but it’s nothing compared to the pain of accepting an infected bartholin cyst has happened on you. You’d feel much better. Get someone to go with you for support, physical and emotional.

It’s a shame I needed this to see how everything happened for a reason.

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