I found myself staying up late every night since February so I can drag out the night. I don’t have to face the day so soon. Hmm that sounds sad – probably doing something bad to my health. After all I have been losing weight involuntarily.
One by one they are leaving the place we once fought for together. So… it wasn’t me they left but it sure felt like it. Although I’m okay with feeling that way now, we were the most tight knitted group of people at work – friends before we became colleagues and the rest colleagues turned friends. It is a strong ass team separated because life happened. Everybody gotta do what they got to do, don’t they? Yeah I understand. I do. I understand both sides to all the coins but maybe that’s what made things so hard for me in the beginning.
Here’s the thing. I have standards for myself, but as everything and everyone else around me. I was so exhausted. Extremely drained out. May I clarify that nobody is doing anything in particular to make me feel this way.
The last time I left this post on draft, a lot was happening. At first I thought I needed to sort out my financials, stop whining and so I could take a step back to move two steps forward. Nah, I will not sacrifice my lifestyle because I do deserve more. (personal opinion no hard feelings)
Although I still can’t fathom how it has come to me having to witness so many connections built over the years slowly fade away; connections having to come to an end because we had to go our separate ways. Accepting/understanding doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy and it was time to get my shit together because time waits for no one. I am better for now.