Hi. Before I step into the pool of emotions to come out with a blog post, I want to say hello, I am doing alright, not amazing emotionally but not horrible either, just alright.
Yeah you can tell I’m already adjusting to writing a post that fits so before I dive in completely I wish to say a few things. It worked.
I needed to get away, I needed to disappear.
Social media was getting way too toxic for me. So I did what I had to. I was gone for a week using my friend’s (bless you bff for letting me) social media to quench my thirst of scrolling through feeds.
I cared less. I finally have the energy to pay attention to myself. It felt wonderful. And then I decided to come back before I was fully ready because when will I ever be if I don’t try? I reactivated my accounts like nothing happened. Just a few days in, and I’m already starting to hate it again.
But I grew. I feel stronger. I feel better.
And I think I’m doing great so far ever since I reactivated my accounts.
Not sure how long or how much I can take this time but I finally have the strength to find some peace in myself. Not as much as I would like but we all start somewhere.
Currently I, no longer asks myself if something or someone is worth it, no longer dwell on second guessing my choices or decisions anymore either. I, am very done with exhausting myself now, at the end of the day no matter how bad or confused it is in the head, I’m only looking into allowing inner peace to pass through before I go to bed. They say success is the sweetest revenge, they aren’t wrong but they weren’t correct. Without inner peace you can’t do shit with life and I sure have learnt it the hardest way I have ever learnt any bad lessons while dealing with the desperation to just be okay and happy.
I am better now, stronger too. And it’s all for the reasons I wish I had understood sooner.
Gonna make my journey to hell worthwhile.